du ford prairie sac

Just returned from San Antonio. �Day began well. �Had good meetings with clients. �Got over myself. �Thatapos;s going to be the hard part, you know.��Getting over myself. �I walk up to clients in their trade show booths and the thoughts I think theyapos;re thinking about me include:

- Get away from here, you retarded motherbleeper.
- Your forehead is grossly shiny and sweaty.
- Your ears stick too far out.
- Why do you have protruding lips
- Why does your suit fit you so crappily?
- Who picked your tie up.

Now, if they are women, I can deal with the women. �I feel better in front of women.��But dudes?��Not a chance.

I�saw some old friends. �I answered a lot of questions, like:

- I was just getting used to you at your OLD�job�
- What happened?�Whyapos;d you leave?
- Really?
- What are you thinking?

I probably told too many people too many things that are too personal. �Things about my marriage (and eminent dissolution thereof; the day is 10/25, and I�am sure the soon-to-be-ex is planning some sort of go-get-drunk celebration that will most likely involve abuse of other banned and not-banned substances). �Things about my personal life.��Things about why I took this new job. �Things about why I couldnapos;t stay at the other job.

I�hugged old friends from Ultradent. �It was a huggy company.��I am a huggy guy. �I�liked working there. �People hug.��And theyapos;re good, genuine, friendly hugs. �I didnapos;t hug Vicki. �I wanted to hug Vicki. �She is a lovely person, and a good friend that was cresting to a "great friend" before I�left. �I feel like I�left her behind.

So, the new job... Being a media rep in a trade like dentistry is interesting. �It will be interesting. �It CAN be a lucrative gig. �This particular gig may work out well. �I just feel really uncomfortable at this point.

I want to add an old friend to my friendapos;s list.��An old friend I connected with.��Itapos;s a she, sheapos;s a she, sheapos;s a dear friend.��Sheapos;s gone and married and grown up and gone, but sheapos;s still my friend and we had the BLESSED�opportunity to talk and sit and just reunite. �We have shared a lot of very brief but important experiences in dental. �She is one of the few people I can say without hesitation I am close to in the business; like, close to the point that when she dies someday, I will be deeply affected, and genuinely sad, and it will shake my snowglobe. �A lot.��She is bewitching and lovely, and intoxicating and brilliant, and flippant and errant, and one of the patches in my dental quilt.��She always will be.��And it was great to talk to her. �Sheapos;s gone again, off and on her merry way, running an high-end continuing education dental business for one of the top cosmetic dentists in the world. �I�probably wonapos;t see her again for a long, long time.��Years go by between our opportunities to sit and be quiet together, and reminisce and ruminate and remind each other that life is way, way, way, way, way, way more than this silly trade weapos;ve both settled in, and we need to be way, way, way, way more serious about everything else and on and on and on. � Anyway. �I miss her already. �And I�am happy for her and her marriage and her life and who she is.��And I�am lucky she is a friend to me.��So I am going to add her to his new journal.

Speaking of this new journal, I intend to write more. �I need to get back to writing more. �

And the new job... It is going to be fine. �I am going to be fine.��I just need to hustle, then hustle, then hustle more.��And be organized and positive and have good energy no matter the moment.

I�need to go get situated. �The kids are coming over tomorrow morning for a full day, I guess. �Itapos;s so hard doing this all by myself all day long.��I know I am not allowed to complain. �But itapos;s not easy, not at all. �My divorced dad condo (agh) is just not equipped to host the kids ALL�DAY�LONG. �Itapos;s small in here, and poorly ventilated, and I�donapos;t have anything on the walls (THAT�NEEDS�TO�CHANGE, AND�NOW), and I guess�we will be spending time tomorrow at the park, and Lord knows where else.

Wish me luck. �*sigh*


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